I wear dead people
Now here’s something I never thought of doing: squishing my dearly departed into diamonds. Apparently, it’s not only a reality but financially quite reasonable. Companies are setting up shop world-wide and are becoming increasingly popular.
Some make diamonds from the departed’s ashes, others from hair (which means making a gem from the living or someone who has been buried is also possible). The US-based Lifegem offers their services for pets as well as humans. Basically, if there’s carbon, there’s diamond potential.
This keen-o technology means the funeral service can enter into an entirely new decorative phase, bypassing the entire embalming process in favour of cutting, polishing, and mounting the sparkly deceased into wearable art. It also has the advantage of saving valuable land—no need for burial plot when dear old mum can be mounted in a cufflink.
Author alert: The possibilities for murder mystery plots abound. One could hide the corpse anywhere— as the crystal of a chandelier, the button of the doorbell, an earring (but then you’d need a matched set!).
To make this all just one bit stranger, the technology for creating synthetic diamonds is good enough they can now be graded. No more nonsense about death being the ultimate leveller! Figure out which relations really were gems of the first water.
You never know—that old saying about someone being worth more dead than alive might be true.